That’s the day. Streets are filled with people who are going and coming. Red is the basic color of most shops; Color of Love. Good days for sellers to fill their pockets with money..

No, i dont mean It is bad to have fun really. But like the New Year Eve, Valentine’s Day has become as commercial as the rest of corporate holidays.

As a multi-million dollar industry, It’s getting just an “opportunity” for companies to take more advantage. The advertisements steal your mind and force you to do what they expect you to do, with an overwhelming number of cards, presents and even holidays being sold the world over to celebrate it.

Nowadays if you don’t know the name of Valentine day in the mid east, others will look at you like you’re a sinful idiot. They don’t care Valentine day has lost its real meaning. It’s driven by materialism. It’s going to be an empty cube with no spirit. Usually people are confused between the matter of “Love” and “Lust”. They waste lots of money in this day for kind of feeling which gets apart after a short time.

I still can not make me fitted with this new culture. I can not understand why we don’t try to love a person for a lifetime and show our love to the beloved all the year and not just in a day.

I remember in my whole life -exactly before being globally conneced to the world via internet- i had not heard about the valentine day. It was something that just used to be practiced in the Rome, later in the France, Germany and UK. Finally it reached to the big enforcer of the culture, USA.

The American culture which is trying to feed whole the world, was tranmitted via internet to all countries. Now this new epidemy in the Middle East is getting an important part of culture for some people. It is strange for me, that why before internet, we didnt know this event. Even before Islamic Revolution in Iran that following western culture was very common, there was no such an event. What can i call it? A form of globalisation? Losing the national culture? Or enforcing the materialism of the west into Muslim world?

I know that most people in the Muslim World are going to take their culture off their mind. Most of the time, they are even more ignorant about their national culture than culture of other nations. On the other hand, americans are less aware of other cultures and traditions. They don’t know about lifestyle and different cultures in the world. At the same time, their government’s trying to enforce the materialistic culture to other countries, even the Europe.

In every country, You just need to turn on your TV and see how much channels are filled with American movies.

There is a big difference between “A good understanding of different cultures” and “being obsessed by foreigner culture”. Culture is the most important factor in a society. It can be cause of development and failure both. It can be motivator or disaster.

If there is a way to destroy a nation, that’s changing their religious and cultural identity. It makes them unable to use their brain and think. It makes them slave of other cultures which like a ready sandwich of thoughts go into their mind. Those nations are powerful whom could introduce their identity in an influential way to the world.

Today is different from the past. Nowadays, power of a nation is not based on number of population, but a nation is more powerful who has the most cultural influence on other nations.

In Islam, a perfect human is considered as an empowered muslim. Being a perfect human is not something in dreams or a fantasy. There are many examples in the history, who are known as perfect persons. Based on Islamic thoughts, Jesus, Moses, Abraham and Muhammad and all other prophets are normal persons like us, but they worked on themselves, reached to high state of faith and beliefs and understanding of the world and beyond.

15 tips to be an Empowered Muslim:

1. He is a moderate, modern and open-minded person, who has brought up himself harmonically with the humane values.

2. At nite, when all the world is sleeping, nobody praises God like him. His faith and trust on God is strong and strict. With God, he is humble and obedient. His heart, goals, love and lifestyle is for the sake of God.

3. He is among people, live with them, interact with them. But don’t get infeluanced by their bad manners. Instead he has good influence on them. He is active and useful. He do what he talk. And never enforce his ideas to others. People feel secure with him for he is not abusive and bitter tongued.

4. He is smiley person. His presence always gives evengy to others. Never break hearts and never offend others.

5. He is witty and smart knows how to make people happy. But he never ridicule them.

6. He is not hypocrite and judgmental. He never lay the blame on others and doesnt look down to them. Instead he is thankful for others’ little goodness to him.

7. He has strong personality. People are not afraid of him. They respect him and love him..

8. He doesn’t disappoint others. They are always free to ask him to help them and he is ready to support.

9. In his life, there is nothing more joyful for him than learning and increasing his knowledge and wisdom.

10. People are hopeful about him bcs he is good to them.

11. He prefers to be a faithful poor, instead of unfaithful rich.

12. He never follow enemies and any esp group. He is always aware of groups with hidden agendas who want to hijack islam and humane values in behalf of religion.

13. When he faces a person who seems not to be enough faithful or practicing, he doesn’t start to judge or blame him. He says in his heart:”How I know he is not better than me? Maybe his faith is hidden.” For he knows that’s only God who is aware of hearts.

14. He is healthy and His heart is sincere, without having his own hidden interest, hatred and enmity. He never get confused or depressed.

15. He knows Islam is religion of empowerment. He has an eye on politics and the world affairs and issues.. He is always against injustice.

Is there any other characters you add? Based on the tips, are you an Empowered Muslim?

 Popular blogger Brother Naeem could be called  an ”intercontinental” man- he’s an American Muslim, originally from Pakistan and currently living in Saudi Arabia. Known for his intellectual discussions and refreshing humourous nature, Unique Muslimah reveals more about “brnaeem” as she talks to the man behind the blog.

Which characteristics do you wish to portray to people when they first visit your blog?

My lack of certainty.  I absolutely abhor absolutes.  I can’t stand my fellow brethren who proclaim their views with arrogance and pomp, holding all differing views with disdain and contempt.  I rarely, if ever, have posted with any authoritarian tone and I can’t stand those who do.

Additionally, when visitors come to the blog, I try to present a multi-pronged look at the world around us – incorporating the spiritual, political, and social – from the blurry vantage point of a Muslim male with one foot firmly planted in the East and the other in the West.  And it’s that delicate balance that I try to present in my writings.

Why did you start blogging?

I’ve always loved to discuss and debate with others. I’m addicted to any forum that would lend itself to a constructive exchange of ideas (dinner settings, coffee shops, listservs, blogs, etc). It allows me to bounce my ideas off others and fine-tune them.  And when there is respectful disagreement, everyone is bound to benefit.  Listen to me in my attempts to convince you and I promise to sincerely listen to your arguments.

How else will we ever grow and mature in our thoughts if we aren’t intellectually challenged?

On your blog you say you converted to Islam, though you were a born Muslim. What were the events that led you to become a born-again Muslim?

There weren’t any catastrophic events that shocked me into conversion (Cat Stevens-style).  It was a beautiful journey in which Allah (swt) took me by the hands and gently led me to my Eureka-moment. 

It was my father sacrificing the big mansion (as many of his doctor peers opted for) for a smaller home right next to our community Masjid. It was the years of growing up in the confines of the Masjid premises.  The community had built two houses 50 feet from the Masjid, one for the Imam and the other we rented.  So not only were we next to the Masjid, we were neighbours with the Imam and his family.

It was the amazing group of post-graduate brothers at my university’s MSA, who played such a positive role in my development.

And most importantly, it was the freedom that my parents gave me and the trust they showed in me when the sent me away to college.  In that environment, hundreds of miles away from my parents, without anyone looking over my shoulder, with anonymity seductively calling me to the haram, I was forced to make the decision of dunya vs. deen every single day.  After doing that for two years, I realized that I had chosen Islam as my life.

I was sitting in the company of two brothers who had recently converted and it was then that I realized that just as they had turned their back on the ways of ignorance, I too had turned my back on the alluring calls of this world. And it was then that I really made my Shahada.

I find a sense of comfort (not contentment, for one can never let their guards down) knowing that I consciously chose this way of life.

Would you advise other young Muslims to “convert” intentionally?

I sincerely believe that every Muslim ought to make a conscious decision to choose to be a Muslim.  It can’t be from the parents or from the culture or from rebelling against the system or whatever artificial reason one remains a Muslim.  It really has to come down to one’s own search for identity and search for the truth.

If you haven’t challenged your faith and put it to the test, what kind of faith is that?

What do you think is the most important thing to look for when searching for a spouse?

Whoah, hang on there!  Whoever told you I’m looking for a spouse was totally lying! Oh, wait, you were asking a general question…in that case, please strike that last remark.

With regards to marriage and love, I’m totally old school.  I believe that love is achieved through staying married, not getting married.  So when searching for a spouse, forget about their long term plans (they change), forget about money and career (that also changes), and forget about looks (those *definitely* change).  Stick to the core foundation and that is love for Allah (swt).  It’s true that faith also fluctuates, but it’s a foundation I’m willing to build on, as opposed to the other superficial alternatives out there.

How did you feel the night before your wedding? What would you suggest for young Muslims getting married soon?

What is this? The View?  Seriously, I don’t remember the details.  The entire wedding has become one whirlwind of a memory.  Reason #4,930 for not wasting money on an extravagant wedding ceremony.

What would I suggest to Muslims looking to get married?  Well first of all, try to refrain from depicting your future spouse as some freaky midget that you can dress up and show off to your friends on your personal blog.  Sound familiar, Unique? 

Marriage is hard.  Marriage is VERY hard.  It requires so much sacrifice and effort and patience.  You know how anyone going for Hajj is constantly reminded to remain patient in the face of any adversity lest their Hajj be lost?  Well, marriage is a life-long Hajj. 

I fear that most young couples don’t realize the challenges of marriage.  They fail to read the fine print, buying the product based on the flashy commercials.  Marriage is like those drug commercials, where a rosy picture is painted and then this voice-over quickly mentions the side-affects such as severe migraines, diarrhoea, high blood pressure, paralysis, heart attack, and possibly death.

I still haven’t figured out why every community doesn’t have a marriage camp for young couples preparing for marriage.

Would you call yourself romantic? What gestures of love do you show your wife (flowers, presents, etc,)?

I follow the Homer Simpson school of thought in this matter.  So basically, I’m still learning.  Always open to advice.

What has marriage added to you? How were you before marriage? How are you now after marriage?

Sheesh…this is like a 60 minutes interview.  Talk about a heavy question.  I can’t imagine how lowly my relationship with my Creator would have been if not for my marriage.  Exposure to the female mind enabled me to become so much more introspective, which nourished my spiritual development.

Also, I’m very happy that I got married at a relatively young age (20yrs) – I feel it really accelerated my maturity curve.  That’s one reason why I would highly recommend everyone to get married as early as possible.

Screw the career and the house and the car.  Just get married people!  Live in your in-laws basement (like I did) and drive your dad’s car (like I did) and worry about the job afterwards (like I did) – now that I’m looking back, what in the world were my wife’s parents thinking?! I must have been really good-looking.

Be sincere to yourself, your spouse, and your Lord.  Everything else is the details.

How would you describe yourself as a husband? Should we be giving you the husband-of-the-year award?

If you ask me, I definitely deserve that award – EVERY single year.  On the other hand, if you ask my wife (and thankfully you didn’t), that’s a whole ‘nother story.

As a husband, I’m still learning.  I have a long way to go before I deserve to even get nominated for that award.

10. Would you have a second/third/fourth wife? Can you explain the reason for your answer?

When asked the same question, a wise man once told me, ‘They are very hard!’  I concur.

Do you believe the hijab and niqab is obligatory in Islam? How do you view other Muslim women who are not practicing these two?

Masha’Allah, you really addressed a few thorny issues with this one question.  My views on this issue and how they’ve changed reflect that maturation process that I referred to earlier.

Initially, I was of the more black and white view – hijab is an obligation on all women and I was very judgmental of those who failed to comply.  It really bothered me when I saw sisters not covering, to the extent that I even questioned their faith.

But it was through education, experience, a better understanding of the dynamics behind the hijab and a more realistic prioritization of where a woman’s dress falls in the hierarchy of life that guided me to my current stance of ‘live and let live’.

The funny thing about the hijab issue is that many of its proponents claim that it forces one to judge a woman for who she is instead of how she looks, while they are the same ones who use the hijab (or lack of) to judge the piety of the woman.  I find that to be very ironic. And even more ironic is that many of these duplicitous hijab advocates are women themselves.

I’ve learned to stop judging women based on the hijab issue.  When interacting with any sister, I try to have hasnu-dhunn (positive opinion), regardless of hijab or not.

That’s not to detract from my personal opinion on the matter that it’s obligatory.

What are your views on the beard?

I like beards.  In fact, I sport a beard. However, I realize that beards aren’t for everyone.  For example, I definitely wouldn’t like my wife to have one.  Thankfully my wife isn’t Desi, so she doesn’t have that problem.

There seems to be more Muslim female bloggers than male bloggers. How do you feel about that?

Yeah, it does seem that way doesn’t it.  I remember reading in that book Men are from Mars, Women from Venus that women are all about expressing themselves and listening to others express themselves, while men are about internalizing their feelings and all that other Dr. Phil spiel.  Is that phenomenon simply extending on to the blogosphere?  Maybe.

How did you first feel when your first child was placed into your hands? How did you feel towards your wife?

I feel like I’m on Oprah. This is exactly what I was referring to in that last response –Guys just don’t talk about these things. 

I love my children and I love my wife, but honestly, I don’t give much thought to that specific moment.  I know, I know, I’m some horrible genetically mutated freak, but I see myself as a long-term visionary, not a live-for-the-moment sorta guy.  At least that’s what I tell my wife.

How are you as a parent? Do you leave most of the parental decisions to your wife or are you an involved parent?

I’m definitely a hands-on parent.  While I leave the motherly tasks (such as clothing, feeding, and the like) to my wife, when it comes to raising them, we’re both actively involved.

All thanks and praises due to Allah, I have a job that allows me to be home by 4pm everyday in addition to a full weekend.  This allows me to spend quite a bit of time with my kids.  And with a 9yr old girl and 7yr old boy (plus the newborn), they need all the time we can give them.

The Prophet Muhammad was an active in his home, doing his share of the housework. Do you clean up, vacuum clean, dust, clean the dishes, do the laundry, etc, or leave your wife to do it because you believe “it’s her job”?

Next question, please.

I think most every American-raised Muslim husband is aware of this beautiful sunnah (either from a masjid lecture or their wives constantly reminding them).  And most try and adhere to it in one way or another.  But let’s be honest, very few women are satisfied with the effort put forth by their husbands.

I honestly think I’ve done a fair share around the house, but if you ever asked my wife, she’d probably pull a muscle laughing so hard.

No, I don’t believe it’s her job, but seeing that she’s a stay-at-home mother/wife – we have an (ahem) understanding.  I help out however I can.

However, our current situation is a bit different.  We have a full-time maid so that allows both of us to focus more on the kids than on domestic chores.

What is it like in the Naeem household- do you make all the decisions- do you have an equal-decision relationship with your wife- or does your wife make the decisions? Was this transition smooth in the early days of your marriage?

Not only is my wife Arab, she’s Palestinian, so who do YOU think makes the decisions?  But then again, I am Pakistani, so who does SHE think she is?!

First of all, I can’t remember that far back to my early days (14 years is a looong time, especially in the marital dimension) so I can’t tell you about the transition process.  Second, the decision making process hasn’t always been smooth, as any married person can attest to.  I prefer to always look at the pros and cons of every possibility, then I watch my wife throw all my analysis out the window, and we end up doing what makes sense.

How do you think your wife views you? How do you view your wife? What kind of relationship/marriage would you describe yours?

Man…(deep breath)…that’s a tough one.  Can you ensure that my wife won’t ever read this?

I tell you, I could write a book on my marriage experience.  It would be sad, ugly, and depressing as well as beautiful, heavenly, and divine, with every thing in between.  But that’s true for every marriage, no?

How does she view me?  Ask her.

As to how I view her, the most concise way to sum it up is that she is my only way to my Lord.  I have come to better realize my Creator’s Love for me through my wife.  No one else could treat my weak, sickly nafs better than my wife. You know how you have to life heavy weights to gain muscle?  She’s the same for my spirit.  She’s my strength training coach.  She pushes me in ways even she doesn’t realize.

During the ugliest moments of our relationship, I step back and see how Allah (swt) is humbling me and rubbing my arrogant face in the dirt of this world.  And He does so by way of my very own wife.

And during the most beautiful moments, He is giving me a taste of the sweetness of Divine Pleasure.

What more could I ask for from my life-partner?

What do you wish to achieve through your blog?

I really try to present an alternative view of the mainstream, status-quo outlook that is so prevalent.  I’m trying to show that the standard American way of life that is being peddled throughout the world is not always the best way to do things.  I really think second-generation children of immigrants have a key advantage in that they are intimately aware of the American lifestyle (and its inherent weaknesses) while remaining cognizant of the ‘back-home’ perspective (and its traditional strengths).  This enables us to challenge the homogeny of the liberal, humanist worldview that is so dominant.

For example, I’ve posted about young marriages and how Muslims need to reject the western mythical creature known as the ‘teenager’.  I’ve also posted more than once on the sham called democracy.

I would also like to see Muslims shed their inferiority complex and proudly stake their claim to Islamic principles, regardless of how politically incorrect they may be.

What kind of da’awah activities do you take part in “online” and “offline”? Would you say you are an active Muslim?

Back when I was in the US, I was very active in the local community.  However, the dynamics in the Muslim world are totally different and so I find myself less involved in dawah activities.  I’ve taken advantage of my current situation by turning my energy inwards.  I’m more focusing on personal development – for myself and my family.

Nonetheless, I still long for those days of Masjid activism, but I’ve resigned myself to my current lot, Alhamdul-Illah.

You’re in your mid-thirties. If time-travel were possible and your older self could travel back to advise your younger, 20-year-old-self, what would you like to tell, advise, warn him?

Hey, where are the softballs you lofted to Achelois, like 5 things to take on a deserted island?!  I sense some gender discrimination here!

I’d advise him mostly on the marriage front. I’d explain to him the intricacies of dealing with the wife, such as shut-up and listen to her when she’s upset.  Don’t try to analyze her problems with your logic, she’s not an engineering problem that needs to get solved, she’s a woman who needs to be comforted.  Just listen to her, ESPECIALLY when she’s venting against you.  Bite your tongue, beat down your nafs, and open up your heart.

Sadly, those are lessons learned only AFTER years of experience.

With regards to my religious development, I would insist that he focus more on internal development and give less weight to the outer forms of worship.  By this I’m not implying that going to the masjid or attending weekly halaqa are not important.  But the objective is not to simply go through the motions or to feed the brain.  Rather, the goal must be to purify the heart and strengthen your relationship with Allah.  So many years of worship passed without having any affect on my heart – I wish I could change that.

Oh, and I would tell him NOT to buy Cisco stock at $70 right before it crashed to $15.  Very bad idea.

You are quite a cheerful, humorous person, which is defies the stereotype that all practicing Muslims are angry, always-serious people. What events in your life have given you a positive, happy outlook on life?

Looking back, I’ve always been a happy, go-lucky guy.  Never took things too serious and never let myself get too down on life.  I truly consider that as one of the greatest blessings from Allah – I see the opposite in my wife, who takes any and every problem as if it’s the last episode of the A-Team (I think I cried when I found out it got cancelled).

What’s with those super-serious people who don’t know how to crack a joke?  I personally tend to stay away from their ilk.

What other stereotypes do you wish to personally defy when people visit your blog or meet you in real life?

Through my blog, I try to present an image of a Muslim who remains loyal to his religious principles while also accepting and even appreciating those with differing views.

I try not to judge others. I fully appreciate everyone’s right to express their views, as abhorrent as they may seem to me.

Wife-beating is one of the main misconceptions people have on Islam. How do you feel about this issue?

Ahhh…nice…finally, an easy one…I think.  If you are asking me about domestic violence and abuse, then that’s a real no-brainer.  Only those with no-brains indulge in such activities.

However, if you’re asking about the controversial verse in the Quran, I must admit that I have a hard time with the issue.  I’ve harmonized this divine verse with my limited understanding by acknowledging that the verse is from the Divine and my understanding is limited.  Real genius, eh?

What else can be said?  All other explanations are either from a patriarchical mindset with misogynistic undercurrents or an apologetic stance that reeks of an inferiority complex.

What would you like to advise younger Muslims practising Islam and actively involved on the internet through Muslim blogs, forums and websites?

While I understand the power of the Internet, nothing beats sitting at the feet of a scholar. Reading a blog post or participating in a listserv will never inspire you as being in the company of a God-fearing, pious Muslim, who talks and walks with the guidance of Allah (swt).

I wish I could spend more time in the company of these rare jewels, for the times that I have done so are permanently imprinted on my soul. 

Let’s not become so disconnected from reality that we turn our backs on these fountains of inspiration.

And finally, how do you feel to be given the title “Empowered Muslim Youth”? (Remember you are a youth at heart!)

Cool.  Do I get a crown?  And can someone please inform my wife that I am officially a Youth, so could she please stop calling me an old fart.

I really like this effort of presenting Muslims trying to make a positive change.  I look forward to your future interviews.  There are SO many more qualified people than myself, who are more Empowered than me, more Muslim than me, and definitely more Youth than me.

Keep up the good work!

UPDATE: We appreciate your comments voicing your opinion. However unintentional, we admit that this article was unfair by subjecting only one side of the story. The author understands the counter-criticism of gamers and acknowledges that those influenced by violent games as portrayed in the article below form only a small percentage of the gaming population.

EMY is also aware of studies conducted by the US secret service and the US department of education concerning the influence of violent games, movies and books on children, a copy of which can be obtained here.

Once again, EMY apologises for overreaction on the authors’ part and thanks you for helping us improve future content.

Computer War-games have increased tenfolds since the global war on terrorism invaded our minds and ears in 2001, with most of the games targeted towards a young audience. But are the youth really influenced by these disturbing games? Unique Muslimah writes more on this worrying modern-day phenomena. 

War games have a long history. Since man’s natural inclination of self-preservation, experts believe that some form of war-game occurred before the first organised war. Chess is an example of a war game that has been around for centuries. And since the computer was invented, war-games have been able to develop and exist on a completely different playing field.

Back in the 1960s, a computer war game was unheard of; children were encouraged to play outside in the fresh air or toy around manual war games, like Battleships and Chess. Arguably these were the golden ages, in contrast to the modern-day child who expects, by default, to have one of the many computer consoles available on the market, along with a collection of games to spend endless of hours on.

It is true that computer games have evolved since they first started to appear in the late 1970s. Improved graphics, animation, themes, choice of game, ease of use, cheats and strategy all attract the modern-day child for a hefty price.

And it’s the improvements to modern-day technology which makes more war games appear on the shelves every year- it’s a must-have for youth. And “while annual sales of manual wargames amounts to a few hundred thousand units (and dropping each year), computer wargames sell over half a million units a year (and are rapidly increasing).” says a computer wargame specialist. 

If you include the simulator type games (aircraft, vehicle and others), several millioncomputer wargames are sold each year. And it is increasing. What is dangerous and worrying for the modern parent is what their child is absorbing in the hours they are glued in front of the TV screen. 

Each game promises their audience an experience they will always remember. These visual games are a perfect opportunity to psychologically prepare and even mentally train children to fight in battle. Now with the latest console, the Nintendo Wii, which enables the user to move while playing, youth can even be physically trained to fight in a war and at their own expense. Some war-games are even connected to other users using a microphone through a network, to create a realistic experience as possible. 

Of course war-games do not offer full training. But it undeniably prepares youth, both mentally and emotionally, to acknowledge what to expect. Some games are quite graphic, showing blood, corpses, strong language and disturbing fighting scenes. A game called Metal Gear actually has a character who received virtual reality training. Raiden carries out simulations of another character’s previous missions before undergoing his own, official “battle”.

If a youth was to spend fourteen hours a week playing such a game until they completed their mission, they may have more of a chance of wanting to experience a battle in real life, perhaps by joining the army. But this virtual reality strategy may backfire, as youth could turn the negative energy they gain through vandalism or other violent crimes.

There is no doubt that this well-thought tactic, issued by high-ranking govermental officials, and it is not very surprising. The global war on terrorism is running out of soldiers, as US officials have said. The Morning Herland’s reporter Fran Molloy stated back in 2007:

“More than 3800 US soldiers have been killed in action since the war in Iraq began more than five years ago.  And since the war drags on with no end in sight, the US military is running desperately short of the 80,000 new recruits it needs each year.

“As the horrific reality of the bloody conflict deters potential recruits back home, it seems that the US Army is pinning its hopes on a video game to solve one of George Bush’s biggest headaches.”  Brainwashing the youth to fight in almost real-life situations which a solider would face if fighting in Iraq for instance, is most definitely a way to recruit more soldiers for the future.

The new video game is dubbed ”America’s Army”. Reviewers have raved that the game is “realistic with an immersive tactical first-person shooter, a free download with online multiplayer capabilities and extensive input from some of the world’s top game developers.” Not surprisingly, the game requires a relatively significant commitment of time. Enough time to complete a form of brainwashing.

Critics believe the game is ”essentially a propaganda tool funded to the tune of more than $US10 million ($A11.1 million) of US taxpayers’ money designed to attract young people to military life.”

According to sources, the US Army spends “an estimated $US1.5 million annually to support the game”. And it’s paying off, because 28 per cent of players actually click through to the US Army’s recruitment site, and about 40 per cent of new US Army recruits in 2005 have played the game before signing up.

Evidently modern-day youth are influenced by computer wargames, with governments taking technology to their advantage by reaching out and molding the brains of their very own future soldiers.

Ironically parents crying over their son’s station in Iraq could be the same parents who actually bought the computer console with war game included.

Unique Muslimah Reporting in Blogland for EMY

Mixed of Pakistani and Arab blood, and the third Muslim generation of her ancestors in the UK, Suroor talks about being a patriotic educated British woman; Aly’s bossy (passionate) wife and a cranky (caring) mother to her cute children. Achelois is her nickname in blogland.

You know, the first question is always a headache. How would you describe yourself?

Passionate, honest, bluntly straightforward, often caring but also short-tempered, and unfortunately quite forgiving.

This is a psychological statement. Usually they ask for three things, but I’ll change the question. What are the five things you wish to have if you were in a deserted island?

Knife to kill animals, lighter to cook them, women’s porn to kill boredom, photo album of family for mushy moments, and a huge supply of toilet paper for …

 ”I really like this image. A photo of my son’s T-shirt and so aptly describes me and him.”

What is your level of education?

I have two Bachelors degrees, two Masters degrees, and two post-graduate diplomas. Currently studying for a PhD.

Do you feel there is a big difference between the virtual world and the real world?

Maybe. I think the virtual world is less dangerous and more accessible that the real world.

And your story behind starting a blog? When did you start? What inspired you to become a part of the blogsphere?

I started blogging in May 2005. I started blogging for two basic reasons:

One, my best friend had left Islam because she was in an abusive marriage with a man who blamed his actions on Islam. Consequently she felt Islam was misogynistic.

Two, one of my students suffered greatly through her father’s polygamous marriage. I started reading up on Muslim sociological patterns and through a book ‘From Monogamy to Polygamy’ I was introduced to blogs and online groups on polygamy which left me speechless and introduced me to a world that is shockingly different from the world in which I grew up.

I found that there were either blogs that refused to discuss Muslim sociological problems or there were those that exist to bash Islam. I didn’t find many that followed the middle path – that is discuss what is wrong with Muslim communities and the spreading misogyny while firmly believing in the inherent good in Islam.

Blogging helped me walk on the middle path, meet people who feel the way I feel and it offers me the chance to share my understanding with others, spread the message of tolerance which I feel lacks in almost all communities including the Muslim community, and bring people closer to each other whether or not we share a religion. It helped me tremedously in reconnecting with my best friend and showing her tolerance and acceptance despite her choices. Three years later she has slowly returned to Islam but I never gave up her side even when she was away from my religion.

Why blogging and not a personal diary?

My blog is not personal. It discusses social issues which need discussion. Even when I share something personal it is for the purpose of illustrating a concept or showing a side of a modern Muslim family. My personal diaries just collect dust

Achelois is a character in ancient Greek myth. What is the reason behind introducing yourself as Achelois?

I’m fascinated by ancient Greek mythology and theology. Women received immense importance in ancient Greece and its mythology. Achelois is one of the minor Greek moon gods who relieved pain and suffering and brought happiness in the lives of her worshippers. When I was ten years old I was so mersmerised by this insignificant god that I used to dream that I was her. I often used to wonder how such an important act as relieving someone of their pain did not make her the most powerful god. I wondered why the god of war was more powerful when all he did was bring death and misery. Like Achelois, I wanted to take away the pain from everyone I loved. When I was younger, I wanted to take away younger siblings’ toothaches; during teenage years I wanted to mend broken hearts; but as I grew older I realised there were far more types of pain than I had imagined as a child.

I noticed you dont have an “about” page that talks about Suroor. How is Achelois similar to your real personality? What is Achelois not that you are in real life?

Achelois is just like me. Completely. She is just not as short-tempered as I can get in real life but then there are people in real life who spoil me by allowing me throw temper tantrums

How did you become interested in the religion and become an active Muslim woman online?

I have always been interested in religions and how they differentiate us from each other. Even within a family people differ with regards to their differing faiths or levels of faith. I started blogging and now if I may seem active online it is because nice people like Shazia Mistry, Natalia Antonova and yourself promote what I have to say

It seems you have good understanding of religions. How much do you interact with people of other faiths and sects? How much do you know about them?

I interact with all sorts of people. I have friends who are Muslim, Hindu, Sikh, Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, and Atheist. I know people who are straight and who are gay. So, my life is a wonderful learning experience and I learn from them everyday.

Now we come back to Suroor. Do you work? How is being a mom, a wife and a coworker in workplace together?

Yes, I work. I have been working for over a decade now. There is no other life I know. I started working before my husband began working and I didn’t give up even after I started having children. It does get difficult when I’m required to be home with the children, for example when they are sick but when that happens child minding becomes a shared responsibility. My only lonely task was to bear them and bring them into this world. From then onwards if I bring bread on the table with my husband then he must be ready to stay home when I can’t.

I was always curious to ask if you are a hijabi woman? What are the challenges facing you as a veiled/unveiled Muslimah in the west?

No, I don’t wear hijab. I wore it for seven years and then realised it is not a personal choice at all. It is a religious choice. When a woman decides (through her own personal study and not the understanding of ‘others’) that it is required by God then there is no question of personal choice left for her. She must cover her head (or even her face if she thinks niqaab is compulsory) just like she must pray five times a day.

I personally think that hijab is a social requirement in Islam directly linked not to piety but to social arrangement of a given society. For example, I must wear hijab in Saudi Arabia or Iran or even in some parts of Pakistan or ME. I must wear it while praying or visiting an ultra religious family where I will stick out like a sore thumb if my head is uncovered. I ought to wear hijab if I want to go to the fish market in downtown Iraq or Egypt, for example because all these social arrangements can turn awkward or dangerous for me if my head is uncovered. Modesty takes on a completely new meaning in some countries where you have to be covered from head to toe to be spared from ogling eyes and even then it is not guaranteed that you will not be annoyed by frustrated men.

However, hijab can conversely become awkward and dangerous for me in countries that are at war with this ‘Muslim woman’s clothing item.’ I was born and raised in the West where I always dressed modestly with only my hands and head showing and I never felt threatened or was never started at inappropriately. I know I would have turned heads had I been in a tank top. Insisting on wearing a hijab in France for instance would only make me look controversial. Unfortunately for women clothes are not a personal choice in any society. The clothes we wear are always dependant on the type of society and the kind of men that make up that society.

What is your best and worst memory from blogsphere?

When I was going through a personal crisis I received immense love and support from my blogger friends and that will always be my best memory.

Worst memory? None so far Alhamdulliah.

Don’t you think female bloggers, because they are female, are usually forced to be self-censored? How do you deal with this issue?

Do women bloggers censor themselves? I think any blogger, whether man or woman, should know where to draw the line. But censoring what you say only because you are a woman is asking for too much from a writer. I have always said my mind. That is what ‘I’ think and if someone has a problem with it they should not read what I think.

What do you think about the “Muslim blogsphere”? Is there any space like this? Do you like its atmosphere?

I haven’t really seen any demarcation separating the blogsphere based on religion. There are Muslim bloggers; some have interesting blogs that contribute positively to the society and some are just bogus so I don’t read them.

Were you in a situation that because of writing a post, you were under attacks by others? If yes, what was that post about?

Many times! As soon as a woman tries to talk about Islam ‘some’ Muslim men become uncomfortable because Islam is supposed to be their domain. But their women are just as uncomfortable with honesty and are less aware of global issues but highly judgmental because if they are Muslim then no one else can be equally Muslim. You know how some women will first give you nasiha then call you names and finally declare that you are not Muslim?! Judging someone’s else’s imaan apparently strengthens their faith.

And because I am Muslim and glorify Islam my posts often distress those non-Muslims who hate Islam and want me to rather abandon my religion.

What post received the most hits? What was the subject about?

‘Let’s burn the burqa! Gulp!‘ received 805 hits. It basically reviews Taslima Nasrin’s article by the same title.

Do you think you have made a change with blogging so far?

I wanted discussion and people have been discussing on my blog pretty actively, I’d say. I didn’t aim for any major changes. There have been people who have written to me telling me how Achelois (the blog) helped them in understanding Islam or realise that they were in an abusive relationship. There have been bloggers who have claimed on their blogs that they have learnt the most from Achelois. One reader accepted Islam and wrote that my blog helped her embrace Islam. When that happens, such kind people make my day and I celebrate with non-alcoholic red wine toasting to Achelois

Your favorite quote?

“It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err. ” – Mohan Das Gandhi

What are your dreams? What do you hope to achieve in the future?

Tolerant, talented, intelligent and well-mannered children. That is all. Alhamdulliah I have everything I ever wanted. Allah gives me more than I ask for and sometimes what I never even think about. Alhamdulliah for everything! My future dreams are directly linked to my children now.

And finally…how do you feel when you are given the title “Empowered Muslim Youth”?

Am I given that title? Wow! I like it especially if you consider me ‘young’! Such an honour. Thank you!

It was unbelievable but they had to believe it. They had to accept their failure like real men and stand on the second and third places. Because higher than them there was a little, slim, beautiful girl firmly standing on the platform, with a smile on her face and a shaking hand. Could it be possible? Yes, it could be. She wanted it and she could do it. She did it. That’s why they call her “The Little Schumacher”.

She started years ago, since she took her high school diploma and driving licence together. She promised herself not to be afraid of any event. Even a sad and tragic subject for drivers like “Death”.

Iranian girls usually start their 19th year of life with university: “I liked industrial management. So I started with it and then I took my Masters and later on my PhD.

Working and sport alongside education makes life very difficult and busy. She took on gunshot as a sport. But she ended up with race driving; the “patriarch” Rally. The fear of “death” stops many men to be a race driver. The same for women.

But Laleh Seddigh is very calm to accept the reality of life: “Graduated from High School, I felt that I need to face with any reality in my life. I went to the graveyard, several times. To be honest for first time I was really scared. But little by little I understood it. Now I don’t have any problem to defy the death. It is not my will. The same I was born, someday I’ll die.”

Laleh is one of rare muslim women who chose race driving. Iranian women have been driving on the streets of Iran for more than 40 years. But still most of them have not tasted the race driving, because they are afraid of death.

For Laleh, gender is not the matter. The matter for her is experience and skills: “I know. Rally is a manly sport. Most ’successful’ race drivers are men. But I don’t care to be in competition with men or women. That’s what I want. A competition to enjoy. With skillful and experienced drivers.”

There are people out there who are rich. Sure part of them really tried their best and suffered many problems to be who they are. Maybe most of you think that the Rally is just for wealthy people. But Laleh comes from an average family with an average income: “I spend money for the Rally, like somebody else spends money for business. Rally is what I want to take more experiences in. Now I am working on my project whose subject is ‘Reparation Of Industrial Engines’. I am like some women who change their jewels day to day. With the difference that my jewel is my car.”

Maybe it is the race driving which has made her very tireless and strong. She is feminine, she is nice, but not afraid of hard jobs: “Last week I was searching for a gardener and I didn’t find any. So I decided to experience gardening too.”

She says One day since morning to night, she just worked in the garden, planted many flowers and trees and arranged them in the way she wanted: “I cut the useless thorny branches of the Rose. I was not afraid of doing it myself.“

Prayers are said for peace in Najaf, though normal life seems far off. 

This family makes its home amid the ruins of what was once the luxury premises of the Iraqi Air Force Club.

Many Iraqis tend to shop from stalls and shops near their houses without going to the big markets which have been targeted by car bomb attacks.

Iraq once had one of the best education system in the Middle East and the roadside market of old and second-hand books is still thriving.

Ballet groups have begun for girls, while wrestling is popular amongst boys. The “dreaming butterfly” ballet troupe was established in 2005.

Going to school can be a risk – one in four children of primary school age do not attend, the World Bank says.

The threat of violence permeates all aspects of life and even bakeries have been the target of attacks in Baghdad.

The number of people killed in the wave of sectarian violence has mounted inexorably in recent weeks.

Samir left his home town of Kirkuk in northern Iraq 13 years ago to study medicine in Baghdad. A kidney surgeon in one of Baghdad’s busiest hospitals, security is his biggest concern. He says that many doctors are leaving Iraq because life is so dangerous.

“The US forces have made thousands of mistakes and we are the ones who pay. They are very unpopular.“

Samir used to be able to make the long journey north to visit his family once a week. As violence has escalated, he can only visit them once a month at best. “I miss them so much” he adds.

Samir notes that Iraq’s new constitution places great emphasis on freedom. But, for him, freedom of expression means little without the safety that guarantees life. Although he is a Sunni, he prefers to be identified as a Muslim:

“I want my message to reach the Americans themselves. If their goal was to create the new Middle East and the foundation of a democratic example of a country that chooses its leaders, then I will tell them that the result of their military action is totally the opposite. The majority of people in the Middle East are now holding their leaders close to them even if they are unfair, because they fear facing the same fate as Iraq.”

He continues: “These days, you only have yourself for protection.”

Source: News Agencies

A Muslim teenager-blogger with South African roots, Anonymouse is known to many online as the intelligent, mature and humourous girl she is.

From snowy Canada over a virtual coffee at Tim Nortons, Anonymouse talks to EMY about her experiences in the blogging world and what makes her the mighty mouse she is today. 

May we just add the wonderful news that Anonymouse was happily married yesterday to Mr. Mighty Mouse! We wish them all the success and happiness in the world and hereafter.

 What is your story behind starting a blog?

Bismillaahir-rahmaan ir-raheem. Oh, this question brings back memories! Haha! Let’s see… I was first introduced to the blogosphere about two years ago, when I was researching a project for school on the Palestinian/Israeli conflict. I discovered Professor As’ad AbuKhalil’s blog “The Angry Arab News Service” and, somewhat naively, became a regular commenter – mostly using the comments section to get people to help me with my homework!
After a while, someone (Molly, from the blog “Meanwhile in Palestine”) suggested that I start my own blog, which I thought about briefly but didn’t act upon – until she created a blog for me herself and told me to start sharing my ideas… which I did!

Your name ‘AnonyMouse’ is very clever. How did you come up with it?

I came across the term “anonymice” online once, to describe people who make up fictional identities behind which they usually post spam. I was trying to come up with an online identity of my own that would reflect some part of me while also giving me a fair degree on anonymity, and it was at an “Aha!” moment that I decided on the name “AnonyMouse” – it shows my love of wordplay while very neatly keeping me anonymous.  

Other than the fact that it’s part of my nickname, I found parallels between myself and mice – I’m small, cute but pesky, and constantly sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.
Besides, it’s good to remind myself that I’m really just about as significant as mice are, which is good for keeping my ego in control. 

How would you describe yourself?

Now that’s a toughie! I suspect myself of having multiple personalities, actually! Seriously, though: I’m just another teenage Muslimah with big dreams. I’m cheerful, just a little quirky, love to goof off, but I can also become very serious and intense about something (sometimes stubbornly so, and I’m not always right!). I love to read and write, and solve people’s problems.

You sound much more mature than your age group. Do you have any reasons for that?

Al-Hamdulillah! I don’t really think I’m that much mature that others my age; in fact, I’m often embarrassed at how childish I am! However, if I do seem different from others, then without a doubt it’s because of the environment I grew up (and continue to grow up) in – I’ve always loved to read, and the people I was around encouraged me to learn as well. Again, because of the environment I was in, I learnt a lot about people and their situations, as well as the situation of the Muslim community in general. Plus, my parents’ involvement with the Muslim community was an example for me: it taught me that I, too, have a responsibility to do what I can for this Ummah.

How is ‘AnonyMouse’ similar to your real personality?

I tend to be a bit more serious, as well as more eloquent and less shy, online (or through writing, at least), than off! It’s also easier for me to say what I think online, because my blog is my domain and I can say whatever I want with far less pressure or criticism than I’d get in real life. Perhaps that’s a bit cowardly of me, but I’m more hesitant to state my opinions in real life when I know that there are people around who’ll totally disagree with me or argue on about it without my being able to defend myself properly. In general, the AnonyMouse you ‘see’ online’ is what you’ll get in person.

Why blogging and not a personal diary, for example?

I actually do have a personal diary! But I use that for boring day to day things, about my feelings and what’s going on in my life and whatnot. Blogging is much more serious – through it, I explore and expand my ideas about the world around me, specifically the Muslim Ummah, and address issues which come to my attention and which I feel I have something beneficial to say about it.

How you feel about the Muslim blogsphere?

The Muslim blogosphere is HUGE! There are so many blogs, by different people with different viewpoints, and focusing on different things… I think that it’s actually quite clique-y, but that’s just because people tend to gravitate towards others who have the same kind of mentality. If you come upon a new blog, it takes time to establish yourself as a regular reader and commenter. Overall, however, I do think that the “Islamosphere” is pretty good, al-Hamdulillaah. Sure, there are lots of trolls and flamewars can be a regular feature at certain blogs, but you’ve just gotta ignore the stuff that’s not worth your time and focus on what you really do care about and what interests you.

How do you feel about the responsibility of showing others the true picture of Islam and Muslim women?

I strongly believe that as Muslims, each and every single one of us is responsible for doing Da’wah and conveying the message of Islam to the world – whether it’s to non-Muslims or other Muslims! It’s because of this strong feeling that I’ve taken up blogging, as well as my involvement in my local Muslim community. I urge everyone to do what they can for this Deen and the Ummah: first by educating ourselves about Islam, and then leading by example. Everybody has skills and talents of their own, which I think we should be taking advantage of!

Do you think bloggers, because they are female, are usually forced to be self-censored?

Not at all! Masha’Allah, the female bloggers whom I’ve come across are strong Muslim women who aren’t afraid to say what they think or feel. They usually make a point of addressing issues that receives a lot of criticism or is considered taboo… if anything, they’re refusing to accept censorship!

Do you feel there is a big difference between the virtual world and the real world?

Yes! Everything is much faster online than in real life. Discussions and debates are carried out and concluded online, and considered “old news,” while in real life people are still going on about them. As well, people can be a lot easier to deal with online, even if you’re arguing or disagreeing. I know a lot of people think otherwise, but in my experience it’s been easier to debate online and to either continue a discussion or totally cut yourself off from the other person (in the event that nothing of benefit occurs and you need to do something more useful), than it is in real life. There’s both a good and bad side to this, depending on the situation.

How much do you use the internet? Why do you think Muslim youth find the internet so important?

Uff! I use it a lot – more than is healthy, actually. Mostly it’s because I’m finishing high school through distance education and most of my courses are online, so I’m on the computer for many hours a day. Don’t follow my example, though! It can be quite distracting, unhealthily so. I think that Muslim youth find the Internet as a cool, fast way to learn about Islam and to get to know other Muslims, to share their experiences and find comfort in relating to each other. Mind you, there are a lot of youth who just use it for the usual stuff – emails, computer games, YouTube, that sorta thing.

How do you see Muslim youth on the internet? What would you like to say to them?

To tell the truth, since I cut waaaaayyyy down on my blogging/casual Internet use to make room for other things on my plate, I haven’t actually come across a whole lotta Muslim youth on the ‘Net, or the blogosphere. There are a few, but not that many…those few, however, have been doing a pretty good job, al-Hamdulillah! Keep at it, sisters (and brothers) – may Allah grant us all knowledge, wisdom, and understanding of the Deen and raise us to be truly amongst the great Muslims of the next generation, ameen!

How would you advise Muslim youth wanting to start up a blog and staying safe online?

Funnily enough, I’m actually against more people starting up blogs! There are so many out there already, both good and bad, that I don’t think there’s a need for any more. I’d rather advise people to get together and start up a different kind of project targeted towards the “real world” as opposed to the cyberworld – for example, a magazine or newsletter. It’s definitely more costly and requires more effort, but I do think we need more of those than blogs.

However, if you really do want to do something online, then there’s strength in numbers! Find people who have a similar outlook on life, or at least similar dreams and goals. Think about what you want to write about – it’s best to have something solid that you can “revolve” around instead of writing about totally random subjects.  If you have certain issues that you want to discuss, then go for it. A target audience is also important to have – who do you want to reach out to? How will you address them?

As for safety, then stick to the golden rules: don’t give out overly personal information, like your full name or home address or whatever. Don’t give out your personal email address to everyone you “meet” online. It’s better to be safe than sorry. I’ve personally strayed dangerously close to revealing my true identity, but al-Hamdulillaah there have usually been people around to catch me and remind me. May Allah protect us all from any and all harm, ameen!

How did you become interested in the religion and become an active Muslimah?

As the daughter of someone very influential and involved in our local Muslim community, I’ve practically grown up in an Islamic centre! From a very young age, I’ve been exposed to the Deen and activism within the community. However, I wasn’t always so into Islam personally – that took the guidance and mercy of Allah, that He straightened me out and filled my heart with true love and dedication of Islam. I only became involved online because the summer that I started blogging (summer of ’06, I believe), my family had just moved from our city of 9 years to a much smaller one, and I was desperately homesick. The Islamic centre I’d grown up in, the people whom I was nearest and dearest to – all gone! All the thoughts and ideas that were constantly banging around in my head had to be channeled somehow or another… and blogging was the only way, because my parents were too busy trying to get us settled here to listen to my ramblings and rantings.

Do you think you have made a change with blogging so far?

Hmmmmm… good question! I’d like to think so, but honestly, I don’t think I really have. I’m not part of any huge movement that’s accomplished great things, so in that sense I definitely don’t think my blogging has changed the world in any great way.
If I have accomplished anything, then all praise is to Allah!

What inspired you to join the group blog Muslim Matters and what are your personal aims for getting involved?

I was contacted by brother Amad (co-blogger on MM), who first had the idea of creating a group blog with a staff that included people of knowledge – shuyookh like Yasir Qadhi and Yaser Birjas, amongst others. I was flattered to be offered a position, so I jumped at it! While I liked my own personal blog, I was happy that I’d be given a chance to reach out to a wider audience… not just to get my own words out there, but also an opportunity to learn and grow from it.

What are your dreams? What do you hope to achieve in the future?

SubhanAllah, I have so many goals and ambitions (not all of them realistic!) that it’ll take too long to mention them all. In general, however, I’m dedicated to learning more about the Deen – I’d love to become a student of knowledge, insha’Allah – and to first better myself as a Muslimah, striving to reach the higher levels of emaan and taqwah. After that (well, during that, really), I want to become an Islamic teacher, a spiritual leader of sorts, for Muslim women and teen girls… to educate them about the Deen also, to help them connect more strongly to Islam and become closer to Allah, and to fight the numerous injustices that the world commits against women.

How do you feel as a Muslimah in the West?

Comfortable! I’ve grown up in a very strong Islamic environment, but at the same time it’s not like my house is a little piece of Saudi or anything – I’m a Canadian through and through, and it shows through my love of maple syrup and Tim Hortons. Seriously though, I guess because I’ve been homeschooled for such a long time, I’m quite protected, maybe even isolated. I don’t view that as a bad thing, though… I’ve had enough interaction with “the outside world” to not to be a total alien to it, and like I said, I’m very comfortable with being a Muslimah in the West. Canada rocks!

How much do you interact with people of other faiths and sects?

Not much, actually. I homeschool, so I’m not always around non-Muslims, and when I go out it’s usually for shopping or whatever. It’s not a problem for me, though… it’s easy to talk to people, to be respectful and friendly. I’m not totally isolated, either – a lot of my schoolwork is done online, so I do interact with classmates and contribute to class discussions where we exchange different ideas and opinions.

You’ve written many posts. Which post received the most hits?

My post “The Hijab Story – Tragic Murder of Aqsa Parvez” on MuslimMatters is the one that received the most hits. I personally found that surprising, as it was a very spur-of-the-moment post in reaction to the news about Aqsa Parvez’s death, as opposed to my more structured and researched articles. But then, as they say, what comes from the heart reaches the heart! Al-Hamdulillaah.

What is your favorite quote?

Haha, I suck at answering questions like this! Too many great people have said too many great things for me to really choose one out of them all. I’ll stick with what I have on my email signature: People often communicate more through e-mail. With Allah, you should communicate through knee-mail. So get those knees down on the floor and send your messages to Allah in the form of Sujud. -  Sheikh Yaser Birjas

And finally…how do you feel when you are given the title “Empowered Muslim Youth”?

I’m flattered! Al-Hamdulillah! I really don’t want to say much more for fear of my ego getting too big, but yes, I’m surprised and happy that people pay any attention at all to what I have to say, because I don’t think I’m particularly eloquent or have said anything that hasn’t been said already by others more knowledgeable than me. THANK YOU! No, thank YOU!

And that was a peek into the thoughts of a Muslim girl who loves life and embraces it with all her heart. Muslim youth like AnonyMouse are normal, day-to-day-people who love both their faith and the country they live in. EMY thanks AnonyMouse and her wise parents for raising her up in excellence. Until the next interview, this is Unique Muslimah signing off with a warm giddy feeling from a Tim Norton coffee, with a mouse.